friendly reminder to all that this is an archived blog and that means there will be no new posts on here save for gentle reminders such as this one every now and then! if you would like my new url please message me :)

05 Jun 14 @ 11:33 pm  —  reblog

to people following this blog: it is an archive. i am not active on here. i only check it once or twice a day for messages. if you would like the url of my new blog, please send me a message.

08 May 14 @ 10:16 am  —  reblog



#wow its almost as if people believe the truth rather than lies#and defend and support the victim of a situation#rather than feel empathy towards the perpetrator#and maybe thats why bad people who make bad decisions never win#and have to retreat from the fight they unrightfully started when they didnt have the right opinion in the first place#wow

Except, Anja dear, that’s not what’s going on here.

I told the truth and your friend told the lies. Your friend bullied and tried to manipulate me into believing her lies (like she has clearly done and succeeded with you) and when I wouldn’t play along as she wanted, she decided that she would play the victim and try to get sympathy and, of course, because she is such a good actress in that sense, she did.

Askance is not the victim in this situation.

She is a horrible person who prejudged me based on something I did not do, would not listen to me when I tried to explain that I did not do what she thought I did, and hated the fact that I called her out on her bullshit so much that she tried to make it me who was wrong rather than her.

It’s Askance who made the bad decisions here. Not me (though admittedly I did make some of my own, but they were not anything any of you have thought they were).

I made a roleplay blog after reading Brittle to keep myself from feeling more anxious and suicidal than I already did. Everyone got angry at me simply because I did not put the credit where they wanted and then were shocked when I got angry at them for sending me hate. Do you think that’s wrong?

I made a post asking for commissions for fics and Nix assumed it meant I would be selling her gardener!Sam verse that she was so kindly letting me write for, so I told her that wasn’t what that meant at all and I would never sell her verse without her permission, yet she still assumed that I would, though my post did not mention her verse anywhere on it. I got a little frustrated when she didn’t listen and then Askance manipulated her into thinking that I would still do what she didn’t want me to. Do you think that’s wrong?

I asked Alice if it would be alright if I contributed to their Millennial Gospel project and when they said they would prefer I wait until the book came out and then write fanfiction, I backed right off. Then Askance lied to me and said they were uncomfortable with me even asking them about it and I got angry that she would try to manipulate me in that way. Do you think that is wrong?

I reblogged some posts not originally posted by Casey into an inspirational tag for my own fanfiction and Askance screamed plagiarism. Do you honestly agree with her?

Do you honestly think all of what I did is so wrong that it’s okay to send me death threats, to tell me to kill myself, to call me horrible names, to tell me to delete my blog, to tell me I “don’t deserve the air I breathe”, to have people laugh and egg me on by sending more horrible hateful things when I got legitimately suicidal? Do you really think I am not justified in getting angry when Askance lied to me and told me Alice and Sarah were uncomfortable and when I checked with them, apologizing to them, for what I had supposedly done, they said they’d never once they were uncomfortable to anyone? How is that not manipulative of Askance? How is that okay of her?

Do you really think it’s okay for her to make me feel scared to get onto tumblr just because she is upset over things I have not done and when I try to explain this she does not listen? And do you really fucking think I am not justified in being angry over these things? Do you really think it’s okay that she has made it so that any time I see any of your URLs or see you pop up on my blog using freehostedscripts I have a panic attack because of what you have done to me based off of lies? Can you honestly say that you would not be as angry and bitter and frustrated as I am right now if you were in my position?

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.

Askance is not the victim in this situation. Askance is the perpetrator. Askance is a cruel, pretentious, hypocritical piece of shit, who is used to getting everything her way, who is so used to everyone worshipping the ground on which she walk that when one person refuses to do that, when one person refuses to do what she asks them to, even if it is something as stupid as believing the lies she is telling them, she gets angry and makes everything out to be a twisted lie that, for whatever reason, everyone believes. She makes things up and she cries and bitches and moans and says “Wah, wah, wah poor me!!! Someone caught me being wrong and they’re fed up with me trying to manipulate them and they’re mean for calling me out on it!!! Let me cry about it and make it seem like I’m the victim rather than the bully who started this all to begin with for literally no reason other than I didn’t like that this person admired me!!!”

And you all fell right for it because you are cruel, pretentious, hypocritical, and manipulative as she is. Because you might as well be the same person in all the wrong ways. Because if this happened to you, you would respond in much the same terrible way because you so strongly believe you can never be wrong that you also believe you are the victim when someone calls you out on your complete bullshit.

I had to retreat to a different blog because I was tired of being scared to go on my own blog anymore, something I should never have been, but was thanks to yours and Askance’s group of cronies. I was scared of seeing more false accusations in my askbox and being unable to tell whomever was accusing me this time that I had not done whatever they were accusing me of because they refused to listen to me. I was scared of waking up to piles and piles of hate for something I did not do. So I tried to hide from you horrible people. I tried to get away from you. Tumblr is supposed to be a place of sanctuary for people who have none, but you just can’t resist taking it away from someone whom you hate for, quite literally, no reason (and by the way, how does that feel, I wonder, to be so angry for something that did not even happen?). All I ever wanted to be was your guys’ friend. All I ever wanted was to talk about stigmata!Sam and Claire Novak, the Southern Gothic genre and iamamiwhoami, the horrible weather in Minnesota and Sam Winchester with Askance and the rest of you and yet, because you had prejudged me, because you had assumed I’d done something I had not, you closed that door before I could even open it.

I don’t know how you found my new blog (though, considering I reblogged quite a few of Savannah’s amazing mixes, directly from her blog, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, I suppose), but you did and you continued to torment me and treat me like I was wrong, even after I spent over 1000 words telling you the 100% very detailed truth and in those words I gave you every reason to believe that Askance was wrong. If you’d believed me, it wouldn’t have had to mean you had to stop being Askance’s friend. It would just have meant you would’ve had to gently break it to her that she was being ridiculous (which she is), but you wouldn’t dare believe me, so I suppose that makes you just as ridiculous as her.

If I had been lying about this whole thing (as you claim I am), I wouldn’t have shown her side of the story at times. I wouldn’t have said I understood why she was angry with me for certain things. I would have left that out because I would have been so desperate for people to believe my trash (like Askance clearly is) that I would have done everything in my power to keep the truth from coming to light. Do you really fucking think I would do that for a lie? Because, believe it or fucking not, I know myself more than you bullies do and I wouldn’t (though I can almost hear you saying right now “I really don’t know what you would do” and you’re right, you don’t because you never took the chance to get to know me before you judged me for something I had never ever done.)

You all started this fight. You (Anja), Askance, Casey, Jamie, Chelsie, and Sydnee, started this by accusing me of doing something I had not done: plagiarizing a fanfiction by putting the credit in a place the author didn’t approve of. Do you have any idea how easily that could’ve been solved if Sydnee had not chosen to send everyone after me, knowing they would send me hate rather than say nicely, “hey you should put your credit somewhere else” and all I would have responded with was “Could you please have the author tell me where she would like it?” All Sydnee had to do was privately come to me and tell me that she would like the credit on my sidebar rather than in my about section or ask me to delete the blog altogether and, believe it or not, I would have.

When I tried to explain to you I had not plagiarized anyone because of this, you just laughed and shook your heads because how could I not have done it? Sydnee said I had and, clearly, she’s the end all of decisions in this matter (just as Askance is now), so why even if it made no sense, even if you could clearly see with your own two eyes (should you have chosen to have used them) that what you believed to be right was wrong, would you ever try to see my side of the story? Why would you ever even think of trying to get the whole truth rather than just a fraction of it? But the answer is quite simple: you just don’t do that. You believe one person and one person only, even if that one person is wrong and, well, proof after the fact doesn’t matter one damn bit when your mind was made up a long time ago, now, does it?

You are the bad people who made the bad decisions and yet because you have thousands of followers and I don’t, it is your lies that are believed rather than my truths because people on this website are like sheep and will follow bad people to the ends of the earth if they think they have even the tiniest chance of gaining as much influence and power as they do, no matter what the truth may be.

I guess what I have learned from this situation is that all of my replies are, really, pointless because you will keep on believing lies about me as well as that I am the liar rather than Sydnee, Askance, Karri, Amanda, Nix, Kim, Cherry, and, of course, yourselves (Chelsie, Jamie, Anja, and Casey). No one wants to believe themselves to be a liar or a bad person, even if that is what they are, so I guess the metaphor that works best here is, you can lead a donkey to water, but you can’t get it to look at its reflection and realize that its an ass.

P.S. Because I am a better person than any of you, I would like Askance to know, for her own peace of mind, I have a very good friend that goes to her university. When she posted that picture of herself with Chimamanda Adichie, I had already seen a picture almost identical to it with my friend in Askance’s place. So I figured it out all on my own. She doesn’t have to worry about me dropping jars of spiders in through her dorm room window or filling her shoes with syrup or putting messy poisonous animals in her bed.

07 May 14 @ 5:02 am  —  via + org  —  reblog


Please stop being mean to askee 2k14

Please stop sympathizing with bullies 2k14

06 May 14 @ 12:11 pm  —  via + org  —  reblog


here is a list of people who are literally perfect

  • askee
  • askance
  • tumblr user jimmynovaks
  • the author formerly known as profoundlyunbound
  • HER
  • signed, sam winchester; president of the
    askee is perf 2012-forever club

yeah i don’t think sam winchester would make a club for a horribly hypocritical two-faced stuck up bully.

06 May 14 @ 12:04 pm  —  via + org  —  reblog

askance (jimmynovaks) is a bully

sorry to burst your bubble

i know i know take as long as you need

06 May 14 @ 11:33 am  —  reblog
dear askance;

I don’t think you’ll ever see this or read it and if you do, you’ll just think I’m being a bitch or something again and, considering what I’ve said in my earlier posts about you on here, I can 100% understand that.

But this post is me explaining why you are the wrong one and I’m not.

Which means you’re just going to get even more upset, but, after the way you’ve treated me, I don’t care.

Read More

02 May 14 @ 9:04 pm  —  reblog

well i don’t think i’m going to be coming back here to do much more than reblog some things to my new blog (mostly inspo posts), so here is the whole story of why i am leaving. i am expecting hate for it, so i’m turning off my inbox and if you want my new url i will be either giving it to you or you’ll have to ask me by fanmail. anyway here goes:

Once upon a time, I heard of this fanfiction called Brittle. It was a fanficiton where Sam Winchester from the television show Supernatural had an eating disorder. Since I too have an eating disorder and often enjoy works of fiction where a character has something I do as well or has something I can relate to, I decided to read said fanfiction.

Let me just say this is the biggest mistake I have ever made in the fanfiction realm.

Read More

02 May 14 @ 9:04 pm  —  reblog
❝ If they don’t like you who the fuck cares.
01 May 14 @ 9:01 pm  —  via + org  —  reblog
❝ i think the main reason i loved her so much was because i’d watch her in action and then consequently think, “yeah… i’m pretty sure this girl was raised by wolves.”
— Calvero
(via thatkindofwoman)
01 May 14 @ 7:48 pm  —  via + org  —  reblog
#memoria  #damber